Toilet seats that fit your bum

Toilet seats that fit your bum

I intended to start 2020 on Monday. I got back from leave on Saturday, so I thought it was reasonable to start work on Monday. Except there was one problem: the toilet seat.

I was in an idle discussion with my wife over the weekend about my intentions to help her more proactively in the house this year. It was then that I was brutally reminded of the broken toilet seat in our bathroom that had not been repaired since she asked me last year.

And the words “last year” made it sound like I had forgotten to do this for decades. But instead of letting the toilet seat become a contributing factor to the demise of our young marriage, I decided to take Monday to sort out some things around the house (while glancing at the odd email and getting my office organised).

I made a quick list of things to buy and do and started my day. I was in good spirits and remembered thinking that I wouldn’t let anything wind me up this year. I was going to take on whatever the year had to offer without worry, anxiety, anger, or frustration. And running errands was an excellent testbed for my new approach.

I was going to shoot through to drop off the rental trailer, then quickly have my car washed, buy pool chemicals (the pool had turned green over the holidays), buy the toilet seat, and then get it installed before lunch. To prove to myself that I was going to take things in my stride this year, I even took a book with me to read while my car was being washed.

I dropped off the trailer, and when I got to the car wash, I was told by the retired gentlemen that my car would only be ready by 14h00 that afternoon due to the post-holiday car, boat, and trailer rush. I was not going to sit and read for 5 hours. Book reading off.

I called our au pair to fetch me from the car wash, and I proceeded to use her car to go to the hardware store. At the store, I took a trolly and started searching for the chemicals and a high-quality toilet seat (because my wife only gets the best). I ended up with a large trolly with a small tub of chemicals in the center of the trolly and no seat ( do you know how hard it is to find a decent toilet seat?).

I paid and went searching for a toilet seat at another store. I found a good quality one, but they only had stock at their other branch, which was 10 km away. I made the trip and bought the seat.

Back at home, I sorted out the pool and fitted the top of the range toilet seat. It had buttons to easily remove it for cleaning, a soft close function, and an ergonomically designed seat. I was sure it was going to blow my wife away.

I got busy in my office while waiting for that moment when my wife would realise that the seat was fixed and that it wasn’t just any old seat.

But that moment never came. I waited all afternoon for that well deserved “thank you.” But it never happened.

Then at 19h00 last night, my wife steps into my office and says, “thank you for the toilet seat.” I turn around and ask, “did you notice it has “soft close” and that it can simply click off for easy cleaning?”. “No,” she said.

I went to bed, feeling slightly disappointed that I went to so much trouble to get the perfect seat.

This morning I wake up and promptly ask my wife, “Did you notice that the seat is ergonomically designed for your bum? “No,” she said. “It’s a seat Kevin, a white toilet seat just like the one we had!”

Why am I telling you all of this? Maybe I am hoping that someone out there on the internet has an appreciation for good quality toilet seats that have soft-close, easy click-off and are ergonomically formed to your bum. I need to know that the first task of my year was executed well and excellently.

And it made me think about Ouch! We sell fantastic time and attendance systems, and they are designed well with lots of bits and features that most of our clients might never notice. If you open any of our hardware terminals, for instance, you will see amazing engineering inside.

And very few people notice. And that’s OK because tonight when I go to bed I know that I bought the best toilet seat and I know you, my client, will buy or have bought the best time and attendance system.

Here’s to a great 2020! May we all remember how important a good quality toilet seat is.


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